Love, Christians & Relationships- wow, when you are a single christian and everyone has so many ideas and a opinion on how to walk in a christian relationship, it can make you feel hopeless in the process. I have read so many articles that talk about the do's and the don'ts, but I have not heard anyone mention that you need to be in love with God first!
Let me explain, in order for me to expose what my heart is trying to say, I must take you down just a brief journey down the road of my experience in Christian's & relationship's. Yes, I am single happy and saved, but I had not always been so happy about being single. I had my share of bad break up's and lonely dark nights.
It was 2012 when I realized that my current relationship back then, was over and all of the wedding planning went out the window! I sat in my closet crying my brown eye's out to only hear the Lord whisper in my ear, that it was not the end of the world just the end of my relationship. I gathered
myself up and talk with my auntie, over the phone, she was more like my mentor and I poured out my hurt feelings to her.
Okay, are you feeling sorry for me? Well, don't feel sorry for me at all,keep reading, my auntie began to remind me of God's promise and she told me that next time to never compromise for anyone. Yes, I had been in a relationship where I had lost myself, I had compromised in everything. But God finally, healed my heart and began to show me how I lost myself.
1.) I was always available for this one guy all the time
2.) I had put God second, by not given God my time in the word,
3.)I had also allowed my relationship to be more sinful and less holy.
I keep going over and over in my head asking myself, how and why did I allow that to happen. I was the girl who had vowed to remain celibate, but this relationship had took a turn for the worst! I mean we were getting married, and I stop guarding my heart and everything else!
But thank God, I ended that relationship and God was teaching me how to love MY "self" it was then and only then I began to seek more of God and the things of God! I soon became in love with my father, like... I was not just saying I love you, but I was really in love with God (smiling)!
I did not have to wrestle with any feelings of loneliness anymore it was gone!
I was now praying to God to teach me how to be the best single that I could be, teach me how to wait on the opportunity of a loving relationship! God began to lead me to the word of God like Genesis to Ruth, etc. I was learning that being the best version of me was a "priority" !
"Why" should we seek God instead of jumping right into another relationship so soon after a break up? Okay, glad you ask, you need time to heal and allow God to pour into you his love so you would have that substance, and understanding of who you are! God would want you to discover your purpose during this time and once you got it, start walking in it!
I had found "myself" in my season of growing deep in God and really given God my whole heart! I wrote a book that was filled with my testimony and my poetry! I did some more awesome things like
went back to college, I know I did not mention this information in the beginning but I am a mother of three, so going back to college full time was like a really big goal for me!
I also wanted to write a christian novel, and I did! I am in the process right now publishing that novel, God had to show me that I was more than just single and waiting for a mate I was SOMEBODY special!
God also taught me how to set boundaries for future prospects. I want to say...when you know your self and you are for sure in love with God and someone comes along, just remain being yourself, don't change for anyone! Let the holy spirit guide you in making your choice on who you will allow in your life even as a friend. I think the best place to start out before courtship or dating, is "friendship" respect and honesty will go along way!
Hope my story and my tips are helpful!
Please feel welcome to comment or share with me your story.
